So I like to send out gifts to people at random times, usually a gift card of some sort and a small note of surprise and an I love you . Amazon, Starbucks. I don’t expect anything in return and I do it because I’m not close enough to anyone in my family to take them out or meet up for coffee. My mom, my sisters and their partners each get something at different times and I usually get some sort of acknowledgement. When I send something to my dad, I get nothing . Not even a thank you, I literally get nothing. I’ve sent him notes, candy, small gifts and gift cards, weeks turn info months and I don’t get anything. Not even a hint of acknowledgement. I don’t know what I did wrong to piss him off, I just keep telling myself that all I can do is be kind. That I get happiness knowing that I did something for him, that something maybe wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t send him something. I’m not making much sense. I’m tired. Falling asleep.
Dad, You don’t have to call me. You don’t have to talk to me. There doesn’t have to be a conversation. maybe send me a note telling me you don’t hate me.
This is a collection of journal entries. A compilation of thoughts that I have written in the margins of books, words scribbled out on the back of paper napkins and sentences taken from the lines of an old notebook. I doubt this will ever be read, But if you happen to stumble across it? Please be careful. Its all I have..
Sometimes I need to be reminded
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