just for tonight..

Rainy day today. My umbrella broke on he way to work, my hair plastered itself down my face, my eye liner streaked and my breakfast got soggy. I wonder if anyone saw? Despite the mornings mishaps.. I kind of like these days. Gray and dreary.. glum and not so bright. A perfect day for walking..

I didnt want to get up this morning. My pillow politly asked me not to go and my bed sighed in protest... I had to gently but firmly detach myself from thier postropedic grip.

Speaking of walking, I'd like to go one of these nights. Go for a walk, walk with a stranger. Devulge my secerets and confess all my awkward delusions. It would be a curious kind of a night, a linen clean and mountain morning fresh night. Maybe we'd find a puddle to stomp in or a tree to climb. We could play tag or just for the heck of it, blow bubbles till it all burst. Certainly there would be stars to count, more then enough to make wishes on. We could forget for awhile, forget that we had work in the morning or that this was all just for tonight.. just one night.. then when it was all over, stars counted and wishes made.. you'd go back to being just a stranger and I'd go back to just being me..

somewhere maybe tomorow or perhaps next week, you'd think of it, smile just a little and sigh.. knowing that for one night - nothing mattered.

i was the one worth leaving

so its a little after 9am. Its cold out, the sun hasn't broke yet and my tummy is full. I figuried this was the most apropriate place to write, written in between the lines of an old science text book. I am not sure where this is going to take me. My thoughts are jumbled and my heart has just split in two. There is no glue and I am out of tape. Just why am I writing this? I might be going out on a limb here and I'm not even sure you can understand this. I am sitting forwards on a backwards train. Jersey track - main line. I'm not thinking of anyone in particuler, yet thinking of everyone all at once. There are words singing in my head. My mismatched heart is looking for some glue. Theres a shortness to my breath and my nose is runny. My tummy is full and yet I still feel empty. Say goodbye.

Daylight is streaming in through the window and I am still looking for last nights stars.