I hate nights like these, nights when the heat sticks to you like fly paper and thoughts that that are so far away, suddenly come running towards you, only to come crashing into you. An accident of sorts. As these aren’t the warm and fuzzy thoughts, these are the stay up all night and try to get away kind, the thoughts that sneak up from behind and haunt you like a shadow.
It’s humid out and my pain gets bad when the weather gets like this, between the thoughts and my back there’s no happy medium. I just gobbled some pills down with some lukewarm water and a couple handfuls of Reece’s pieces - pills, chocolate - shit has gotten bad!
I feel like something bad is going to happen to my family. I was telling jim today, something’s going to happen to my family. We’re going to lose someone this year. This is going to be the last of everything, I can’t do anything about it.
All the would-a, could-a, and should’a’s are here, they’re right outside my door, screaming to be let in...
Does everyone know I love them?
Shit. I am tearing up. Damnit I need a Xanax.
