How can I describe this one?
Blips and BlopsOkay. So these are just a bunch of thoughts. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. It’s just words I guess...
How would you describe yourself?
For starters, I have a princess complex, no, it’s not the complex where you always need saving. It’s the other one. For me Princess Complex carries its own special definition.
For me, I like wearing dresses, head scarves and I love wearing flowers in my hair. Why do I consider myself a princess? I love kittens & unicorns, sugary things & sweetness, strange little things, and the wild places they live in.
You might be wondering about what other things qualify me as being a princess? Well, I’ve faced darkness and I’ve fought a lot monsters! I’ve been on harrowing adventures and I’ve even been known to grant a wish of two.
And that! Is why I am a princess.
Wish
I wish for certain things, of course I want the basics “ health, wealth and happiness” for my family of course! That’s basic.. we all know that’s basic.
But I want more.
So here we go, my wishes. I’ll write them as I think of them. (In no certain order)
1. I wish my dad knew how incredibly wonderful he is. My dad is smarter that he thinks and He is stronger than he knows. I don’t know if he hates himself, sometimes I think he does.
Anyway. I wish he liked - wait no - I wish he LOVED himself as much as we love him! I wish for him to have confidence, to truly believe in himself. To accept himself. To like himself. To accept himself. It’s frustrating. I get angry. I see through the bullshit. I see him for who he is, maybe I see him how I wish he was. You should know that, My father is at his worst, when he is trying to be something he is not.
depressed, sometimes drunk, other times dark, obnoxious dark. This is an angry, unchecked combination of anxiety, depression, ptsd and desperation.
I hope when we meet again, someone in the next life. I hope I get to meet the “real hi.” The guy who loves himself. The man who isn’t sad or depressed. I’d like to meet my dad again, in fact I’m looking forward to it.
Sorry, I probably just said more than I should have. But if you’re going to make strange plants to meet your dad in the afterlife, your diary is probably the place to do it.
So! In ending I wish, I wish my dad knew how much he meant to me and I wish he knew, that matter to him. A note. A letter, a text or an email. I want to know that he doesn’t hate me. That I mean something to him.
Anyway, I wish, I got to know my dad.
