It’s almost 1am and I can’t sleep. I’m plagued with the inevitable
Them, she, it & he. When they go, so will I. It’s like watching a train wreck, knowing that you’re the the wreck. You’re the one that’s about to crash. I keep telling myself, reminding myself that everyone dies. Everyone has to go and that in time I will see them again. That when I do see them, it will be for another “do/over.” I get to relive my life, correct my mistakes. The next time around, I’ll do whatever I can to have a relationship with my dad, I’ll make my family proud and I won’t be the reason why my mother walks with a cane. I’ll be the good one, the one that my family actually likes, the one they want to be around. The one that my sisters talk too, I’ll be noticed. I’ll the one that is nice and sweet. I’ll be compssssioste. I won’t be ignored, I won’t be a burden, I won’t be wondering what I did or when I went wrong. I’ll be the woman my husbands wishes I was. I’ll be the daughter my parents could be proud of...
There will be no pain and my life will mean something, I will be someone and I’ll do something - something more than taking up space.
