so I’ve been quiet lately, it’s not that I haven’t cared and it’s certainly not because I’ve run out of things to say, it’s just well...
I feel like I complain too much. Even to you! And as a bunch of flippant words across my screen you’re really not supposed to care. That being said I need to vent, I used to dance and that was LOVELY! Talk about emotional, but I can’t do that anymore. Is it can’t or won’t? Anyway, it’s night time and I hope, I pray...
Gods? Are you listening? I’m praying here - I’m wishing that I don’t have another dream about him, she, her, them - it and all dying. I wake up screaming, sometimes crying. It’s always the same. I find out someone died and my life ends with theirs. It’s almost every night, dreaming of the inevitable. They die
My world crashes
I burn
And so I end with them.
It’s not even about my sisters, I know they have each other. I’ve given up on that, it’s another inevitable. I have my jim and I’d be lost without him. But for family? Blood relatives? After my parents go, I know I’ll have nothing but polite hello’s and absent Christmases. My mom in particular, the glue that holds everyone together? My hero. If she goes before my dad, he will follow her soon after. For as much as she is my best friend, my hero? She is his life. She is the reason he lives and breathes, she is his everything.
Very much like Jim is mine.
So that’s all out and I can try to sleep tonight, maybe venting like this will let me find peace tonight, perhaps telling you this now? This will let me sleep a full night.
So..
Good night house
Good night mouse
And Good night to the lady whispering “hush.”
