To Whom it May Concern:
I am desperetly dying a slow death in retail hell. I am sick of this " Hello, Good Morning" and " Welcome " crap. How about a " Hello, Good Morning & Fuck you Welcome" 8:30am. Hello and Good Morning, Good Morning and Hello, Hello, Welcome, Hello, MorningHi,Hello, Hello Good Morning HiWelcome Hellohi - I dont know, maybe its the coffee. Its only been my third cup ever.
8:47am.
Only 4 more hours to go! This is frustrating theres no outlet other then these small white clean scraps of white paper. A big thank you to my so called paper gods! So maybe I will bite my lip, a slight distraction to my day - Just to see how long it takes to bleed .. biting, biting, bitten, bleeding..
" Excuse me Ma'am, but whats that on your tooth? " says the happy customer " Oh that? Thats just lip." replied the disgruntled counter girl.
Oh I have a line forming, must stop for now..
9:00am
GEEZ. Listen all you consumers out there, leave the nice pink haired sales girl alone. Can't you see the pen in her hand and the dreamy gaze in her eyes? Listen you old vapid fart - I said LEAVE the nice sales girl alone. She is writing - we have to let her write! By the way and speaking of farts, do you think anyone would notice? You know if I.. ... .. ok, next customer I'll blast them! From my heart to yours with a nice fruity fragrance, baked with a good and wholesome love. Bah! so much for blasting on command. So much for self fufilling prophecies, it didnt work.
This has got to be one of the most unlady like journal entries I have ever written. I hope it doesn't offend. Blame it on the coffee. Its only been my fourth cup Ever.
9:03
You know.. the day seems to go by faster if you count on hour ahead. .. let me explain. So at the moment its 9:07. since I am already in the 9:00 hour, I am going to start at 10:00 and say I only have 3 hrs left. Oh Such brilliance! Ideas are pouring forth like a cheap bottle of wine on a homeless holiday!
How many people can I give my measly 10% employee discount too today? How many people would notice? How many people can I add 10% to thier bill to today? How many people would notice? Anyways, not to change the subject or anythng but you know what would suck?what would really suck? if my forhead peeled off. Like right now, this second. A sunburn gone awry. It would peel off in big strips. Lickem-Stickems.. How would one even deal with that? OH FUCK DUDE! My forhead just peeled off! - I think a person would notice a thing like that. I would notice a thing like that. With forhead peelings and all.. Its 9:23am. My math skills tell me its almost 11:00.
Nancy just called, she says she hates her job. She works on the register across the store from me. No one likes her. Management keeps threatening to fire her - they all think she is crazy. I think they might be right. Four customers in 3 hours. I think I might just implode. You can read about that along with the two headed babies in the paper tomorow. 9:54. I want to eat a muffin. I am full of good oatmeal and not really hungry. But a nicewarm corn muffin and a cup of tea would be good about now.Nancy got fired.I'm not surprised.
