It’s been awhile. I know.
Honestly, I’ve had a few nights haunt free. We can chalk it up to a distraction. Tonight it’s back. It was nice while it lasted.
My dad is pretty sick and I’m worried (with cause.) have I said everything I needed too? I’m fairly certain I have and thankfully I have a belief system, that gives me the assurance of seeing him again. I’m afraid for my family, my mom mostly. My sisters too, but I’m mostly worrying for my mom. What can I do go easy their worries? To ease my worry.
If I had a lifetime to do over, would I do anything differently? Of course. I would have been kinder, nicer, open and compassionate. Does he know I am sorry? I’d apologize again to him for mixed messages and crossed signals. I don’t know if he believed me the last time I apologized. I know I wasn’t the best of daughters, thankfully this life is a short one. I still have an eternity to make it up to him. Her and them.
Cryptic, sorry I’m tired. Extra pills tonight. I don’t want to think.
