Soo... it’s been awhile. Things were on an upswing, I was full of hope & feeling pretty good. Like maybe I’m not a broken loser. I had/have a plan. Something to do with my life, I want to contribute. I want to be more than my limitations. It sounds great in theory right? Like this is a good idea and I might be onto something positive.
But then.
Well, life happens and reality hit. As quickly as I felt good, it was taken away. Remember when I said hope was a dangerous thing? It’s true. That shit sucks. We al know that “wait” really means never.
I realize that I don’t have the money to make my dreams happen. I can’t find a job, I have no experience and that for the past few years while I was helping Jim achieve his goals, I was forgetting about mine. His ambitions, his dreams they needed to happen. I had to fight him just to get him to believe in himself. I had to help make sure he knew, he was and he is the best thing ever.
Besides. His dreams are the realistic ones...
So, I need to take it back. I need to swallow my hopes, these tears and forget the dreams.
100k? The pool, the lanai, the ponds, the fence, the yard. My chance to do something...
Well. Just know that If I ever get a do-over. I’m going to be more than just a broken girl.
I’m going to be a someone.
This is a collection of journal entries. A compilation of thoughts that I have written in the margins of books, words scribbled out on the back of paper napkins and sentences taken from the lines of an old notebook. I doubt this will ever be read, But if you happen to stumble across it? Please be careful. Its all I have..
Sometimes I need to be reminded
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