How terrible I must be for my family not to like me. Am I really that bad?
What did I do to make them not like me? Where did I go wrong? My dad ignores me. I think my mom just puts up with me. My sisters are best friends. They’ve always been best friends. they vacation together, hang out together. Hell, they even used to live together. They have always been a duo. The truth is, nothing I can say or do that would change that.
This is a hard thing for me. Writing these words. Coming to the realization that I really don’t mean much to them. .
This hurts. God this hurts.
Like an idiot, I’m writing this through tears.
Do you know what it’s like to be ignored by your own family?
To be so unwanted by everyone in your life?
I feel like such a loser.
I know you know this, but whatever I do, I include my family. Wherever I go, I invite them, I’ve offered to buy plane tickets & hotel stays. I send them little surprises, a gift card to Starbucks, A tshirt. tokens of love. Silly little things, to let them know I’m thinking about them. I treat them, the way I want to be treated.
My mom, my dad, my sisters and their partners, that’s family. They are my family and Family is everything.
This is probably selfish, but I want to be included. I want to be listened too, I want my words to mean something. I want to belong.
I know I’m not perfect, I know I have issues. But doesn’t everyone?
We all have problems, I get that. But are my problems so offensive that my family doesn’t want me? That I have no friends?
I am painfully alone.
Where did I go wrong? What did I do?
I don’t know how to fix this. I am desperate.
I’m sorry.
