I get so angry with myself. I do it all tie time. I get embarrassed and I feel stupid. I feel dumb. God, I fucking hate it and well yes, I don’t know how to stop.
How do I stop doing something that I was raised to do? I was raised to adore my family, to put them first and that I can always talk to them. Those rules, that belief that family is everything should have been left in my childhood. Now that I am an adult, those rules no longer apply. It’s a hard rule to break, but I am working on it. I no longer expect a response from them, of course that hope is there. I think that hope will always be there...
like I said, it’s a hard rule to break. My heart can’t take it anymore, I have spent a lifetime trying to to get them to love me, like they do each other. It’s a moot point and I have to learn how to move on. How does one break up with their family? 😕
