Sometimes I wish that I was there. Other times i wish you all were here. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter , I just want us to be together. I’m in a far away place, it’s quiet here and am alone more than I ever wanted to be. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy here. I have everything I ever could have wished for, minus the broken bits and missing pieces, but who is counting right? Ah, let’s leave my broken bits out of today’s entry.
Speaking of entry, it’s now 1am and I am desperately trying to distract myself from pain. I told Jim once that having pain, living with this evil fuck of a Loadstone is like being surrounded by a a 12ft tall fence. I can’t ignore it. I can’t break it down or push it away, it’s my shadow and everything I do or say has to be done through the walk, sometimes it’s hard to see past it. Once in while a hand reaches out from the fence, it reaches out and I grab it. For a split second, I remember who I was before all this, it reminds me of my real self.
When I’m there or your here. More than one hand comes over the fence, I forgett for awhile. All I
I can do is feel. It’s a happy thing. Family is my happy place. Family is my cure all - kind of like Kellogg’s but only better. ❤️
