its 10. 10:16am to be exact. Not sure where I was before this. Trying to sleep I think. Doesn't matter now, I'm awake.. been awake. I don't think I've slept for more then 20 hours this whole week. Strange that coming from a good sleeping girl like myself. They call it nerves.. I call it the worst feeling ever. 2 sleeping pills in.. still no sleep.
My thoughts race, sitting up in a dark bedroom. Theres not much to do at 2am.. Well, nothing I really want to do at 2am. Except.. well, play World of Warcraft. Pretty nerdy right? its an interesting life sucking culture.. Where before it was about playing with my dad.. Him & me.. with him letting go and me learning to forgive.. I love him again. Oh no worries, We still play. Its actually fun now. But that was with her, my now dreaded 70 alliance. Since then, I've convinced my dad to play Horde - a new game entirely. Horde.. brilliant, beautiful and noble. My life's changed since starting my character. I discovered a new kind of venom. A three letter word that's slowly beginning to define me. PVP, player versus player.. a kind of instant death. No forgiveness.. PVP'ing to "Tiny Bubbles" as nothing screams instant death like a bad Don Ho song. So why not go stealth, sneak around and secret claw some dwarfen fuck - all in the name of Thrall. I only want to get better. I spend my days practicing. Dueling, kiting, running, shooting.. starting & restarting. Only to try harder, be better, kill faster the next time. Desperately searching the forums for a nugget of information. I'm not learning fast enough. Not sure if I ever will be the best. I found out I picked the wrong class.. wrong class, wrong time. I can only try. Try and try and try.. relive and redo. Pushing my unfailing frustations aside. Theres a server to protect and a town to raid.
You know, Its strange putting a piece of yourself into a game, all while without you even realizing, without you even wanting it.. a bit of heart got thrown in as well.
Someday.. someday, whether it matters or not. I'll be Relentless.. Brutally fucking relentless..
Its the end now, Forgive me, I realise this blog has taken a left turn somewheres, its not my normal style. Maybe its harder? perhaps even it sounds tough? Have I gotten mean? Not sure.. it may be a game to you, probably is just a game. A pleasant distraction, a forgetting place. A place where I'm not sick and your not mean.
