So this is a secret, it’s a strange sort of a thing. Bittersweet perhaps.
So my dear friend, my endless diary - as you know, I take a lot of medication. Shots for my sugar, pills for my pain. Sometimes when it gets bad, I take my meds, a whole instead of a half - it takes me to a sleepy state, dreamy place. I get absolute loopy. I used to fight it, but now I just go with it. It’s not exactly pleasant. BUT it does have a curious side effect, that sleepy state takes me back in time. I recall things, I remember places, events. Names. People. Sites & smells. It’s like I am there, reliving it all.
These memories are a mixture of bad & good things, snapshots of my life. It’s an odd sort of a thing. I don’t know why it happens. I can’t do it on command and it’s not always pleasant. So this being said, I think this is what death is like. When you die, you get to relive your life, you can change your mind and explore your life like a choose your own adventure book. I feel like I should be writing this entry better. I should make this flow. But I didn’t sleep last night, in fact I haven’t slept. My stomach hurts and I am bloated. I have a headache, I’m groggy, grumpy & my blood sugar is high. Maybe I’ll rewrite this later, but for now my friend, this is what you get.
A big, fat letter of blech
